I don’t know what it is, but I hate women’s activities. I think they are mostly dumb and unfulfilling. I would rather have my mind challenged through a stern teaching, than be coddled by special “women’s topics” about feelings and stuff.
First, let me clarify. My angst towards the world of women’s ministry has nothing to do with the biblical role of women and other controversial teachings that deal with the genders. I get it. I, like any other thinking woman have wrestled with these topics, what they mean for my life, and I have come to terms with the way the concepts of submission and obedience. But this is not a time for a treatise on gender roles in the church. Let’s such say, if the Bible says to do it, you’d better believe I will.
Back to my grumbling heart …
My pastor has this saying, “Where the feet go, the heart will follow.” So because I greatly dislike women’s activities, for the last few years, I’ve increased my involvement in service at women’s events in my church. This year, I managed in the fall to think it was a good idea to be on the planning committee for the spring women’s retreat.
And it wasn’t that bad.
I enjoyed the women I worked with and fully support the theme for the retreat, “The Marks of a Revolutionary Woman.” In the week prior to the retreat, my excitement for the teachings was really surprising me, I was actually looking forward to the women’s retreat. What sort of pansy had I become?
Until the morning of the retreat. I intentionally arrived late in order to avoid the scheduled morning fellowship time, but I knew I dare not miss the worship because my roommate’s band was playing. Still, when I walked into the church, I felt something seize my heart. It was pride.
Pride, I’m coming to understand is one of my greatest struggles, and the areas of my life that it wraps it’s tentacles around fascinate me.
A couple of nights earlier, I had a conversation with a friend about my opinion on women’s activities and why I hate them so much.
I laid out my reasons for my friend:
1)I don’t need women’s activities (pride!) because I have plenty of women in my life on a daily basis. I live with five of them. There is so much estrogen in my house that I love it when boys come over just so that we will stop sitting around talking about our feelings.
This one’s a little worse:
2) I look at the older women in my church and don’t want their lives (pride!). I have a plan for my life that’s better, you see. When I’m their age my community will not consist only of my husband and children. I will still be involved in other, “important” things (pride!).
God is certainly changing my heart in this area. The key note speaker we invited to the retreat is a woman named Neva Whitney. She is the wife of one of the most influential pastors in the Great Commission Movement of Churches, and is the mother of seven adult children, all of whom live their lives committed to spreading the gospel. I look at her family and know that is I want. I want a husband who will lead our family and follow Christ with fervent passion. I want children (maybe not seven of them) who will live their lives for the purpose of the gospel and change the world around them. It is not inaccurate to say that Neva Whitney has influenced a generation of young adults by being a godly wife and mother. That’s important. Yep, it sure is.
But still, my heart was bitter that morning, looking around the room and seeing mostly married women. As my roommate led us in worship, my heart began to soften. Not by much, but just enough to recognize that I needed God if I was going to learn anything at all the day. So I scrawled this prayer in my journal:
Father, change me on this day. God take the crappy attitude I have about women’s stuff and let me learn. Father, steal my heart away today, because I’m all yours.
I can’t say that God answered that prayer in any sort of miraculous way, but I think He did take some of my pride away to enable me to learn.
God is certainly changing my heart in this area. The key note speaker we invited to the retreat is a woman named Neva Whitney. She is the wife of one of the most influential pastors in the Great Commission Movement of Churches, and is the mother of seven adult children, all of whom live their lives committed to spreading the gospel. I look at her family and know that is I want. I want a husband who will lead our family and follow Christ with fervent passion. I want children (maybe not seven of them) who will live their lives for the purpose of the gospel and change the world around them. It is not inaccurate to say that Neva Whitney has influenced a generation of young adults by being a godly wife and mother. That’s important. Yep, it sure is.
But still, my heart was bitter that morning, looking around the room and seeing mostly married women. As my roommate led us in worship, my heart began to soften. Not by much, but just enough to recognize that I needed God if I was going to learn anything at all the day. So I scrawled this prayer in my journal:
Father, change me on this day. God take the crappy attitude I have about women’s stuff and let me learn. Father, steal my heart away today, because I’m all yours.
I can’t say that God answered that prayer in any sort of miraculous way, but I think He did take some of my pride away to enable me to learn.
Following are the actual teachings, along with some of the lessons I took home that weekend. Despite my pride, God is good to me.
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