Vee Day

My crazy old roommate Lindsay Hand sent me what could quite possibly the best Valentine's Day card ever.

But there's a long story. Years ago, in high school I used to hang out with her, and her brother, and we had this joke ... I'd sit on the couch with her brother Josh on one side and Lindsay on the other and call it a "Hand Sandwich." Adolescent humor is truly the best kind of all.

One time, and I don't remember when, I was very sick and our other friend Terri came to visit me because of the said mind-fogging sickness and she brought with her a homemade card from the Hand children. Lindsay was always artistic and actually now makes her living off of her paintings, so the card she created was pretty neat-o. On the back she had drawn a square and inside of the square written the word "cheese," with this caption: "I looked in the fridge to find a piece of cheese, but there was no cheese. 'No cheese!' I cried."

They were trying to send me a Hand Sandwich!

Recently, while moving my stuff out of storage, I made the fatal moving error of "sorting through so old letters, so you know, I can throw them away." Nope, that never happens. But I did find my Hand Sandwhich card, so there sitting on the cold cement floor of my friend's basement, crying over my letters , I called my crazy old roommate Lindsay. She never actually answers her phone, so I left her a terribly long message recapping that entire moment in time. I never heard back from her, which was really no surprise.

Until today. On of my co-workers delivered my mail, which today included along with medical records and Social Sercurity releases a grease-stained envelope with a queen of hearts and one of those red doily hearts you use in elementary school to make valentine's for your mom glued to the envelope. I thought perhaps my dog had been kidnapped and this was the ransom letter. Nope. It was a card from Lindsay saying how much she appreciated my message that day and how much she loves me.

Wanna know where the grease stain came from? An individually wrapped cheese slice. When I opened the envelope I said, "Oh my God. It's cheese."